Welcome back to another selfcare blog post! Today I want to talk to you about a very important topic - your confidence. Most of you guys only know us from behind the screen and we often get asked how we are so confident all the time. But the truth is, that I especially had to struggle (and still do) a lot with that. As you might have seen on our stories last year, I had constant issues with my skin and that really impacted how I felt about myself.
Now, feeling confident can mean something different to every person. For me a big role in feeling confident is feeling and looking healthy and to be at peace with my body and mind. Regardless of what confidence means to you, it’s important to all of us. When we feel confident, our body will trigger positive feelings and not only you will feel good but those around you will too!
But can you get more confident “just like that”? The good news is: yes you can! Because confidence isn’t inherited or genetic - it is learned! I outlined 9 things that can help you with that. All of them are small but meaningful tasks that anyone can do. There are certainly more things but these are just some of my favorite steps that worked for me.
You don’t need to do all of them in a specific order... Try those that appeal to you, maybe just a few at first. Give them a try - if they work, try another one. If they don’t, try others. If you have some more tricks that have helped you gain more confidence you can mention them in the comments below! I’d also love to hear what confidence means to you so feel free to share your thoughts.
Accept yourself and be kind to yourself
One of the healthiest ways to build your levels of confidence is to learn to accept who you are. I noticed that I was always very critical of myself and I rarely ever focused on my good traits and accomplishments - that really impacted the way I felt about myself. One of the main causes of low confidence is having negative opinions and thoughts about yourself, and after years of believing the same negative things your confidence takes a hit. Focus on your positive attributes. Write them down or say them out loud. Be kind to yourself. Remind yourself what you are capable of. Remember: If you think it, you become it.
Set a small goal and achieve it
We often make the mistake of shooting for the moon, and then when we fail, we get discouraged. Instead, aim for something more achievable. Do a 10 min workout every morning, start your day with some meditation, read more - anything that you usually neglect or don’t have the time for. Set a goal you know you can achieve, and do it. Then aim for another small goal and do that too. The more you achieve your small goals, the better you’ll feel.
Acknowledge your wins
Connected to achieving your goals you also need to acknowledge them and celebrate your wins - even if they seem small and insignificant to you. Now this is something I really need to work on, It’s easy to just notice the things we do wrong and to punish ourselves when we are not being our most productive, perfect selves. We need to take some time everyday to breathe deeply and remind ourselves of the successes we've accomplished - big or small. I like to do it while meditating but you can really do it at any time. While driving, walking your dog or taking a shower. You will build confidence by knowing that you’ve accomplished something.
Learn that no one is perfect
Stop comparing yourself to others. It is easy to make assumptions about people based on social media but I can guarantee you that even the most confident-seeming person has some underlying issues and insecurities. Once you understand this, you can begin your journey to become more confident – but in your own way, knowing that confidence is different for everyone. If you think Jake and I are perfect, you can think again. We have struggles and challenges just like everyone else.
Empower yourself with knowledge
Empowering yourself, in general, is one of the best strategies for building self-confidence. You can do that in many ways, but one of the surest ways to empower yourself is through knowledge. By becoming more knowledgeable, you’ll be more confident. Personally I love to listen to podcasts, read books or to take an online course on something that I am currently interested in!
Surround yourself with the right people
If you are always around people that make you feel like you need to compare yourself to them, you should reconsider who you hang out with. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good, that compliment you even on small things, that talk about you in a way that makes everyone want to know you. These are the people you want in your life. Same counts for social media - if you follow someone that only makes you insecure or doubt yourself, unfollow them! Anyone here that got hooked by the trending Netflix show, “Tidying up with Marie Kondo’? Her method encourages us to look at the excess of our life and find room only for the items which “spark joy in you” (her words, not mine). Well, what are you waiting for - I say it’s time to clean up your Instagram and to bring in some “KonMari magic”. Why are you following certain accounts? What does their content make you feel like? Do their posts spark joy in you?
A good example of how powerful this can be is how our relationship with Raquel and Miguel has shaped our futures. Just by hanging around these guys who are humble, honest, ambitious and kind, we've changed our entire life's path in a direction that we love.
This might seem irrelevant or superficial but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and some makeup can make in your feelings of self-confidence and for your self-image. Put on something nice! It doesn’t have to be a fancy outfit, just something that makes you feel pretty and comfortable. There have been days when I turned my mood around completely with this one little thing. I go from feeling down and insecure to being confident in no time.
Improve your posture
Have you heard about the power pose? It’s when you stand with your feet apart, your hands on your hips, and your chin tilted slightly upward. The theory behind it is that your posture and body language are connected to your success. If your body signals to your brain that you are strong and confident you will start feeling it too. In other words, when your body feels powerful, you literally become powerful. If you would like to learn more about power poses you can check out this TED Blog. It’s super interesting and it explains everything in more detail.
Lastly, one of the biggest ways to increase your self-esteem is to do things for others! When you stop focusing on yourself and start focusing on others, shifts take place, and the way you feel about yourself can drastically improve. In other words: by giving back you help others and yourself. No matter if it’s donating your time or money to a cause that means a lot to you, or simply helping out a friend or family member. Small acts of giving go a long way and you will start living in a more grateful mindset, which puts you in a positive space. Jake and I love animals and we try to support local charities in Bali as often as we can. It really gives me a feel good and confidence boost whenever we are able to help out in some way.
And that completes my list of becoming more confident! Remember, you don’t need to rely on anyone else to make you feel good about yourself. Keep working on yourself and stay consistent. Your brain will start to accommodate your newfound confidence in a way that will be lasting and meaningful.
Lots of love,